This was a monthly blog I wrote for our family website a few years ago. It’s a snapshot of household events a few months before and after my son Joshua (J.T) was born–but as observed through the eyes of our slightly-bitter, sarcastic cat who’s very used to having things her way and getting all the attention. Enjoy!

July: He’s Taking After Me
As you know, us cats bathe ourselves often, and a key part of that is the old “paw to the
tongue” maneuver before we lick ourselves clean. It’s like putting soap on a sponge.
J.T. must be really clean because he’s constantly got his paws in his mouth as well. And
Mommy and Daddy must be clean too, since he always puts his wet hands all over them.

I’ve figured out how to get two servings at meal time. Daddy has gotten pretty good at
feeding me when he gets up first thing in the morning. So, I gobble my food down,
leaving an empty bowl. Mommy, half-awake, thinks “empty bowl, I’ll feed the cat.” It
works well.

I found a new place to hide (but I’m not going to tell you where it is–Mommy or Daddy
might read this). It was sort of funny watching both of them the other night calling out
“Daphne, Daphne” and opening every conceivable door and closet and looking under the
bed and in the windows and stuff. Then I just sorta appeared, with this real innocent look
on my face…I love to play hide-and-go-seek. Why? I always win. 🙂

June: Note To Self: It’s Getting Better
He doesn’t cry as much anymore and he makes these funny little noises and expressions.
He sleeps a few hours at time now. He’s actually kinda growing on me.

You may have heard that they tell new mommies to ‘sleep while your child sleeps’ to
stay rested. I’ve been trying the same approach and it works well. Although sometimes
he’ll cry and I’ll race to the back of the house, and then back again. Daddy finds this
funny, but he has no idea what it’s like being a cat right now.

I am jealous though. Cats, well, we like to eat. Anytime, anywhere. Don’t get me wrong,
They feed me twice a day and the vet says I’m very healthy. But he gets to eat like 8
times a day. Mommy even gets up in the middle of the night (usually twice) to feed him.
That’s just not fair…

April: There’s a Noisy Little Creature In My House
I don’t know what to make of this. Mommy brings in this little creature with 4 paws, but
he doesn’t have a tail or pointy ears. He’s cute for sure, whatever he is. He’s got some fur
on top of his head but no whiskers. So I guess it’s not a cat. Too big to be a puppy. They say it’s just a little version of Daddy.

As you know, I like to lay in the window and watch the birds and squirrels. I like a quiet house so I can get my beauty sleep and be physically and mentally ready to fend off any mice invasions that may happen, right? This creature doesn’t sleep. I’ve found a few places to hide though. But then Daddy says “get out of Mommy’s closet Daphne”. Worst of all, Daddy stayed home for a few weeks to spend time with me but then went back to work so I have no friends now.

This is gonna take some getting used to.

March: Talk of Showers
Daddy’s folks dropped off a piece of furniture as a surprise for Mommy too. Looks like a
great place to nap but everytime I even look at it, it’s ‘Daphne don’t get up there’
Of course, me being a cat, I don’t like talk of showers. At all. Period. Nope. Too scary.
Water. Yuck. But Mommy came back from a shower with no sign of being shampooed at
all. In fact, her paws and fur were all dry, looked just the same as she did when she left.
Usually takes me a day to get my fur and whiskers all perfect again after a shower. How
does she do it?

But she did carry in more of those bags full of stuff from family, folks at the church and
Daddy coworkers but apparently nothing for me, the cat. Believe me, I looked in every
bag. Got yelled at too.

In a few weeks, I’ll tell you all about my baby brother.

February: Finishing Up the Nursery…The Big Blue Sign. Hilarious!
Last week, I talked about how I enjoyed watching Daddy and Mommy fumble around
while they put up the chair railing. This week, an aluminum blue sign (Daddy says it has section numbers from the old Arlington Stadium to go along with the baseball theme in this room…by the way, what’s baseball?) proved to be nearly as challenging.

As hard as they tried (including using some little gadget that one of them kept saying “this ain’t working! There’s got to be on a stud here SOMEWHERE!”), they couldn’t
find a stud to mount the sign on.

So being an expert in common household remodeling projects, my suggestion was to use
mollybolts (which expand so you can hang things on sheetrock walls) with a couple of
1.5” L-brackets inside the sign. Then they drilled 4 screws vertically through the top of the sign to pin/secure it to the brackets. Worked quite well.

For some odd reason I’m starting to actually look forward to my little baby brother. Once
they get done with that room and the baby is born, I’m sure they’ll have much more time
for me. Babies can’t require any more attention than a cat, can they?

December/January: “OK. Now Hear This: I WANT MY ROOM BACK!
I’ve sorta gotten used to eating in the kitchen. And my cat box has a limited view of the
back yard, so I can see birds and squirrels play. Not bad, but not good either. Mommy
and Daddy said I’m gonna have a little brother. Will it be as beautiful as I am? Have a
long tail, perfect fur, perky ears, be as well-mannered and as HUMBLE as me?

Nah, probably not.